I left my heart behind

I bought my tix to Kl (I always shop here) while i was still pregnant during aa sales.Many mths later,tomato was born. And when its getting near to the date,i get nervous.How shall I leave my precious bb behind.I read up tons on separation anxiety. I asked ppl's opinions. But all those didn't really make me feel better.

So here I am.Sleepless.Since 4 am. I thought I can sleep more while away from her.But that obviously didn't happen. Million thoughts pass through my mind. Million worries too. what if tomato got sick while I am away? What if she forgot about me? What if she felt betrayed by me for leaving her? What if people forget to feed her?What if x1584584667470.I can go on and on.

I felt really numb while in flight. All i can think about is I am getting further and further away from her. It really felt that I left my heart behind.So this is what it feels like to be a mother.

I know i shouldn't be worrying too much.Tomato are in good hands. My parents and my in laws are taking turns to take care of her when she's not at the nanny's,while we are away.

I tried reading bimbo blogs to boost my shopping mood(lol!). Sigh. It didnt really work. Somehow I associated the contents with Tomato. Oh my dear God,I miss her so much!!Even her cranky-ness. I foresee that this shopping trip will have more loot for Tomato rather for myself.

I am now waiting for 7am so that I can videocall home.