You should do this...you should do that...

I am sure everyone has been given advices that started with "You should...." or "You didn't...because you didn't..."  and  "Why didn't you.., its better".While your family/relatives/ friends, friend's friends, friend's wife or husband  might meant well, it can be quite annoying sometime.

Recently, my BFF and I talked about breastfeeding. She was having mixed feelings over her decision to stop breastfeeding. She felt too tired to pump milk and yet she felt guilty for not providing "the best" for her little one. While I understand her and supported her, others (some) got judgemental and started giving "advices". I   told her I think that its not point for your little one to have a miserable mother also. What if she got into depression?It will be even worse.

When I started breastfeeding. I was a bit depressed too. Why can't I get as much as others? Why to some people it seems so easy? And reading online about people who have like 100 bottles of frozen milk in their freezer didn't really help lift my mood either. It was a cousin in law (who breastfed her little one till 1 yr+) advice that changed my opinion and thinking. I am very grateful to her. She told me to relax. Take it easy. She didn't say "You should let her latch, will increase your supply faster!You should (do this). You should(do that)" Instead she said if you can "醒后给她吸一吸，睡前给她吸一吸，就很好了". I think about what she said. And that is when I realise. Breastfeeding is not a competition. It doesn't matter how much you can produce for a day. It didn't matter how many frozen bottles you have in the freezer ( I don't keep frozen milk for more than 2 weeks, I don't think its "fresh enough" I don't know how people can keep 100 bottles 'x'). It didn't matter whether you direct latch or pump. What matter most is your little one.  You are doing this for your little one, not to live up to other's expectations of you. Do what's best and easiest for both you and your little one. If you got the time and your little one is happy with direct nursing, then do it! If not, you can always opt to pump. And if both doesn't work for you and you are feeling dead miserable, then its ok to quit. You have done your best. I believe every mother wants the best for their child. But make sure its "your best", don't compare with other ppl's "best".

I learnt a new term from BFF today. Exclusive pumping. Click on the link. The site share wonderful tips. What I am doing now is exclusive pumping. Sometime people ask me, why don't you latch?Not that your little one don't like to latch. It saves time, its good for bonding, you don't have to warm your milk..if you don't let her latch, your supply will dwindle..yadda yadda... Its true that Tomato can latch like a pro (most of the time). But I just feel that with pumping, its more convenient now that I am back to work and I feel less stressed. Some of you may think what's so convenient about it. You still need to wash the pump, the bottles etc.  But the thing is, I don't mind washing them. If I am lazy/ tired, I still can get Oink to help wash. Thank god I have a good supportive husband. Why do I say its less stressed? Its because when you pump, you have milk that is ready. Imagine this.

Case #1 : Your baby is hungry, she started to whimper..so you carry her up to your (.), you adjust her position so that she can latch (may be takes you 3-5 mins). She found it! Proceed to sucking mode. But the latch is not complete, she is sucking in air. You pull her away, and adjust again (another 3-5 mins?). And lets say its another incomplete latch, and you re-adjust. Your baby starts to get angry, her cries went off like a siren. And she is furiously kicking and waving her arms. and refuse your (.) And you have no milk with you except a can of formula nearby. And you are alone in the house.NO Maid.  You get stressed up. I am sure you will end up making formula milk for your baby (and its doesn't fit the purpose of breastfeeding already right?) Baby drinks formula milk with tears in her eyes, all sweaty from the kicking and shouting. And you still ended up with pumping the milk out.

If you pumped out your milk, the milk is ready. You keep them in fridge first. When Baby shows some signs of hunger/ or when its like almost time for her next feed,  You just warm it up. Twirl it. And feed your baby. Baby is happy. You are happy 'x'

Case #2: This will happen when you start to have more yield. You manage to get a good latch for baby.  Baby happy. But you are not very happy. Why? Because your other boob is dripping milk. The precious milk you worked so hard to make it into the quantity it is today is DRIPPING and its WASTED. You feel heartache. You can get a bowl/ cup to contain the dripping milk if you want. After baby gets her feed. You pump the other boob to empty out the milk. To me this is double the work. *Take note that if your don't work and you take care of the baby yourself, You don't need to pump to clear out the other milk. You just need to give a different boob to your baby for each feeding.

Uses less time if just pump straight away.

Case #3 : Baby is latching happily. Baby getting drowsy. Baby fell asleep. And you can still feel some milk left in your boob. You ended up with pumping out to clear.

Again, less time needed if you just pump. 'x'

If you are wondering why am I obsessed about emptying the breast. I kinda believe it will protect me from Mastitis. And its also a way to ensure my supply doesn't dwindle but slowly increase or at least maintain the yield. Cuz your boob is like a factory. It will only supply enough on demand. So its best to empty your breasts each time.

What I said in this blog is mostly my OWN opinion. You may disagree with me. I am not saying exclusive pumping is best and direct latching is wasting time etc. Its not applicable to everyone. Everyone has their own lifestyle preference. I chose exclusive pumping, because it suits our lifestyle and routine the most.

Happy Mommy, Happy Baby. Don't you agree?

I might get Tomato to latch one of these days, preferably on a holiday/ weekend, when both of us have the right mood. That is if she still know how. :D